In these times, MINDSET MATTERS more than ever before…

This week, I’ve done a lot of worrying about the world my kids will grow up in. I’m not worried about what you might think I am, though.

Well, I was… I was worried about this election and the outcomes for awhile… Now I’m worried about something much more disturbing.

I’m worried about this tendency for everyone to only listen to their own beliefs mirrored back to them (I believe this is called an echo chamber, right?). I’m worried about the tendency to run from conversations with others who you don’t agree with. I’m worried about these all or nothing labels we are putting on people who have different beliefs and values than ourselves. I’m worried about how friends, neighbors, and family can’t seem to agree to disagree anymore, but rather hate each other for belonging to a different political party. I’m worried about the amount of people who have decided that screaming their opinion louder and surrounding themselves with other people screaming the same opinion is more important right now than figuring out how to work together.

This won’t be a popular opinion, BUT – A new social media app IS NOT the answer right now. In fact, it is likely exactly what we DON’T need. (Maybe taking a break from social media all together is though!)

Here’s what I think we do need:

• Breathe. I know this is an intense time. I know you are feeling a lot of things and you are feeling them intensely. Don’t forget to breathe.

• Refrain from acting on the urge to do rash things. When we’re emotional, it can be really easily to make decisions that sound good in the moment. What we often find later, after the emotion dies down a little, is that we might have not made the best choice. Our emotions always carry with them an urge to act, but engaging in the action is always a choice. You always have a choice. So before you decide, give yourself some time to really think through the potential consequences. We are always free to choose, but we are never free from the consequences of those choices. Social media has caused a lot of people to say and do things without thinking it completely through. Fight that urge.

• Remind yourself that if you witnessed a tragedy today, you wouldn’t be asking yourself whether the people affected were democrats or republicans, you’d just think of them as humans and feel for their circumstance. At the end of the day, we are human beings. We have different experiences and circumstances that lead us to have different perspectives on politics. And that is OK. Difference is what this country was founded upon and it’s how this country has grown into (relatively speaking) an great place to live, work, and raise your children. It’s how we solve problems and solving problems is how we grow.

• Listen. Then listen even more. Most of the time, if you really allow yourself to hear, you will find no one is actually “right” or “wrong” we are just looking at an issue from a different, but still valid, viewpoint. Our brains really like things to be clean. Black and white, right and wrong, left or right. It’s easier for our brain to work fast when we can just create categories to lob everything into. Unfortunately, while that may help us process information faster, it does not always help us process information correctly. The world we live in is rarely black and white. It is almost always a shade of grey. If you find yourself saying things in absolute ways (“all democrats are ______” or “All Trump followers are ______”), it’s likely time to take a BIG step back and remember that these types of statements are rarely ever true. Force yourself to get out of all or nothing thinking and consider alternative perspectives.

• Radicalization and indoctrination happen very slowly, often without you even noticing what kind of road you are heading down until it is too late (if you find yourself shaking your head here and thinking “not me!” – then yes, you should definitely consider that this could happen to you). Couple things to watch out for: If you only watch news, read articles, follow social media accounts, or talk respectfully to friends who hold the exact same beliefs as you (or if you find yourself deciding to join an app where everyone believes the same things as you) – then you may be walking a fine line into a territory that is awfully hard to disentangle yourself from. If you find yourself calling people that are different than you names or categorizing them as all the same – again, you are walking a VERY fine line. The demonization of a group of “others” is how many mass tragedies have happened in our history. Let’s be careful about not learning from our past mistakes.

• Stay open and willing to talk it out. Closing off opportunities to have conversations with others who are different than you not only makes it impossible for you to grow as a human being, it makes it impossible for this nation to ever find peace. What we all hope for is for our children to grow up in a world where they can be happy and successful. None of us wants a world filled with hate, violence, and war with our own neighbors. The type of world our children end up with depends on us and the decisions we make today. And it has very little to do with which party is in charge. It has everything to do with the example we are setting. Do we teach them to listen or shout? Do we teach them inclusion or exclusion? Do we teach them to love or hate? Do we teach them to be kind to others or mean to others? To we teach them to challenge their assumptions or do we teach them that they are always right about everything?

And you’re religious or spiritual, remember that Jesus (along with many other spiritual teachers) taught us to love our enemies. This would mean he’d also want you to love people who don’t agree with you. I posted on my personal page a few weeks back that this was the most important vote of our life time. And while I still believe that to have been true, I’ve come to realize that our mindsets over the next few weeks are actually way more important than whatever vote we decided to cast.

Our mindsets will determine what this country and our world look like well into the future. We are creating the world our children will inherit. Do we want a world filled with love, acceptance, and peace? It’s all up to us.

(As an important side note, I don’t just believe these things, I live them every day. My husband and I have different beliefs in many political arenas. We have had some intense conversations over our years of marriage. What I’m grateful for is how we have both grown from being able to navigate through the blending of our beliefs. I am a different person because of that and I hope he would say he is too. We grow into better people by being able to listen and talk to others that don’t agree with us. Never forget that.)

Also, I wrote a similar post last election cycle… I had no idea it would still be relevant today. You can view it by clicking here.

As always, stay Healthy As Heck friends, KH