Category: Healthy as Heck Momma

Finding Forgiveness Within

Finding Forgiveness Within - How to cut yourself some slack during a pandemic

Forgiveness is such a tough word for everyone – both in understanding what it means and in its practice.

And that’s just in thinking about applying it to forgiving OTHER people.

But ya know what’s even harder?  Forgiving ourselves.

And given that we are all quarantined in our homes right now – life can be beautifully wonderful – but it can also be incredibly tricky.

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Mom-Tip Monday – Mental Self-Care Tips for Moms

Mom Tip Monday: Mental Self-Care Tips for Moms

Happy Post-Mother’s-Day-Monday Mama’s!

Today we are going to talk about how to engage in some mental self-care. This post will be a shorter one, but don’t let the length be an indicator of its importance! I see a lot of information about self-care strategies come across my desk as a psychologist turned health coach/fitness instructor. Many of them are physical – meaning they are generally focused on one of our five senses. Some examples include listening to music, taking a bath, lighting your favorite candle, painting your nails, etc.

I think they are all absolutely incredible acts of self-love.

However, what I want to talk about today is mental self-care.

How do you challenge the negative voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough or that you are failing as a Mom?

If we are all being honest, there is not one mother who makes it through this motherhood journey without seriously questioning what the f*** she is doing. Most moms, while loving their role, face incredible challenges during motherhood and maintaining their mental health is often the lowest of their priorities – even though it is the single most important thing you can do for yourself and for your children.

With that said, we are often strapped for time and energy as moms. Self-care that requires lengthy exercises just won’t do. I mean, how is one supposed to take a nice long hot bath when she can’t even go pee by herself?!

Below, you will find a few tips for small mental self-care activities for mom’s:

  • Mindfulness: If you have never practiced mindfulness, this is a good time to start. I’ve linked a few resources on my Favorite Things Page as well as at the bottom of this post in my Amazon Picks. In case you have never heard of it before – briefly, mindfulness is the practice of being in the moment. Often, the thoughts that get us in trouble are related to the future, the past, or things that are outside of our current control. Mindfulness encourages us to ground ourselves in the present moment, allowing us to effectively deal with and focus on what is happening right now. After all, this moment is all we ever actually have. And mindfulness doesn’t have to be time consuming (although you can feel free to get into extended practices) – you can practice while you take a walk, while you wash dishes, or while you shower. The opportunities are endless! The APA has identified several benefits to practicing mindfulness. With respect to motherhood, some of the important ones include stress reduction, improved focus, decreased rumination, and less emotional reactivity. Sign me up!

Here is a great video for using your breath as a mindfulness practice (and the whole video is only 7 minutes!!):

https://youtu.be/XUOUidfOpJ0
  • Affirmations: You are what you think (not what you eat, btw!). Thoughts are so powerful and often we don’t even realize what the thoughts are that are bouncing around in our heads. Mindfulness can help us become more aware of what these thoughts are, but it isn’t until we actively work on replacing these thoughts with more constructive ones that we will see a dramatic change. Affirmations feel silly at first, but like any other skill we have to master in life, success comes with repetitive practice – even when that practice feels awkward at first. The more you force your brain to restate positive and supportive statements, the more your brain begins to believe them and act accordingly. Below, you will find a list of affirmations to get you started, but feel free to create your own based on your own life experience.
  • Phone a Friend: Support systems are always important – but it’s even more important when you’re a mother. I encourage you to have at least one or two mom-friends that you can call when you are questioning yourself. Someone who has been there, done that, and can remind you of all the ways you are doing a great job. Be selective in who you choose as your go-to person. No matter how much you may love them, someone who tends to be critical, know-it-all, negative, or overstressed is not a good match for this role. If you don’t have a friend like this available – get online and look for mom support groups on facebook or other social media platforms. Before you join in though, do a scan of previous posts and associated responses. Make sure the group is a positive environment where women can get honest, yet supportive/affirmative feedback. Sometimes all you need is a voice outside of your own head to remind you that you are doing ok!
  • Movement: I know, I know, you’re thinking…. But Kristin, you said these were not physical! You’re right, I did. The reality is, thought, that movement often can help get us out of our head and can help us get grounded in the moment. You can get more information on the benefits of exercise on mental health here. Movement also prompts our body to release endorphins which can significantly help our mood! What I’m not talking about is killing yourself at the gym, trying to burn enough calories to lose weight, or finding an hour or more everyday to exercise. What I am talking about are things like taking a short 10 minute walk, stretching before you go to bed, or kicking the soccer ball around in the backyard with your child. I’m talking about things that just make you feel good – whatever that may look like for you.
"You're always going to wonder if you're doing things wrong, but that's what it means to be a mom, to care so much about someone else that you just want to be as perfect as possible." - Naya Rivera

As promised, here is a short list of starter affirmations to practice when motherhood has left you needing a little mental self-care boost:

  • I am doing the best that I can for my kids and it is enough
  • There is no such thing as a perfect mother
  • I am the mother my children need
  • I love my kids which is the most important thing a child needs from their mother
  • I trust my intuition and do what is best for my family and me
  • God blessed me with this child (these kids) because he knew we needed each other
  • It’s ok and sets a good example when I take care of myself
  • It’s ok to ask for help
  • Even the best moms have bad days
  • Nothing lasts forever, this tough moment of motherhood will pass

I also LOVE these printable cards from The Military Wife and Mom Blog! Be sure to check them out if you are looking for some more go-to affirmations!

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter – leave me a comment and say hello so I can get to know you!

As Always, Stay Healthy as Heck, KH

A Fun Way to Keep Learning Alive at Home

A Fun Way to Keep Learning Alive At Home!

If you’re like me, you struggle with finding fun things for your kids to do that also teach them a little something. My daughter attends a weekday school (see my post on my experience of her first ‘First Day of School’ here!) and has done amazing things with learning letters, colors, and all sorts of words. As summer is approaching, I’ve been worried about how I would continue her learning while she is on summer break. And then inspiration came in an email…

I was contacted by education.com, who sent me the most adorable, FREE,Easter Themed maze worksheet to share on the blog (see attachment below). I thought it was so cute and wondered what else they have on their site so I did a little digging and wanted to share what I found

(Disclosure: I do not receive commission from this post – just sharing my honest opinion and the worksheet they provided!).

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Tips for Exclusive Pumping Success – Part 2

Mom Tip Monday: Tips for Exclusive Pumping Success

Several weeks ago, I published Part 1 of my tips for exclusive pumping success only to have Spring Break completely derail my plans of getting Part 2 to you. #momlife, right? But it is finally here!

Today, I’m going through my last set of tips to make exclusive pumping easier and more stress-free for you. I found exclusive pumping to be a huge learning curve and learned several things late in the game that would have made the whole process easier – if I had just known them from the beginning!

I hope these tips make your exclusive pumping journey immensely easier and help make you feel a little less overwhelmed by the process. If you find any of these tips helpful, don’t forget to let me know in the comments below!

Exclusive Pumping Tips:

  • Steam Sterilizer Bags: I would consider these one of the must-haves for pumping Mama’s. These allow you to wash your breast pump parts and then use a quick steam in the microwave to ensure that they are completely sterile before the next use. It’s super easy, relatively quick, and puts your mind at ease about whether those parts are really clean enough. I did not use them for parts that specifically stated they had to be boiled (like the silicone massager below) but most of your parts work great in these handy bags. These will save you loads of time. I definitely suggest buying a couple of packages so you will always have them handy!
  • Lansinoh 3 in 1 Therapy Packs: These are one of those things that I wish I had known about WAY earlier in my pumping journey. I tried them on a whim and instantly wished I had purchased them sooner. These handy hot/cold packs help with let down and get your milk flowing faster… BUT, even better… they help with clogged ducts. If you have ever had a clogged duct you know what an absolute terrible experience they are. I used to get them a lot and they were so painful! Once I found these, I would heat them up and leave them resting on the area of the clog for about 10 minutes before pumping and then I’d work on massaging that area while I pumped. I was able to work through clogs so much faster using these!
  • Spectra Silicone Massagers: I added these because I was struggling with finding the right flange size for my Spectra Breast Pump and thought the additional insert would make the fit better. Turns out I was right, but these also helped with milk flow and made pumping way more comfortable. They make similar ones for other brands of breast pumps (see here and here for examples), so it may take you a little searching, but it’s very worth it. I’d suggest rubbling a little olive or coconut oil on the inside as well. It will reduce the friction and, again, make pumping way more comfortable (you can do this on the regular flanges too – #gamechanger!).
  • Alcohol Test Strips: Okay, so real talk here… If you are going to drink during your pumping journey, these are super helpful. If you don’t drink, that’s awesome and you can skip this part. But if you like a cocktail every now and then and have waited NINE freakin months to enjoy it again, then I’d suggest ordering a set of these to have on hand just to set your mind at ease. These little strips will let you know if your breastmilk is safe to drink. You just dip them in and wait 2 minutes, then check the color of the strip. No change? Your milk is good to go. Brown or spotty brown? No bueno. I erred on the side of “pumping and dumping” milk that turned my strips, however I know friends who took a portion and mixed it into other milk and totally felt comfortable with that. You do you. The point is – your baby’s health is too important to just hope your milk is safe. If you’re going to enjoy a glass or so of an adult beverage, do yourself a favor and double check the safety of your milk.
  • Bottle warmer: We received our Kinnde Bottle warmer from a friend who didn’t need hers anymore. It was a product I swore I didn’t need and then once I had it, I realized I was completely wrong. Not only did this help with giving my daughter milk that was actually warm, but it helped immensely with defrosting frozen breast milk quickly and without as much of a risk of spilling it. I’d set the sealed bag upright in the warming tray, set the timer, and then about halfway through, push down any frozen milk that was still stuck at the top of the bag. Since the bags warmed upright, instead of laying down, it was much less likely that they would open and spill during the process (unless the bag broke which only happened to me once). I loved this little machine and was so grateful for this unexpected addition to our baby gear! Also, these were my two favorite kinds of breast milk storage bags: Lansinoh and Avent)

Tips for your Pumping Station:

I used to pump in a lot of different places. The “joy” of exclusive pumping is that you often are forced to be creative and flexible… hello, pumping and driving. But when you do get to be at home, I think it’s helpful to have an area that you regularly use for your pumping. Here are a few items I suggest keeping stocked in your pumping station:

  • Paper towels – for the inevitable spill and to clean up drips as you disconnect from the pump.
  • Phone charger – your phone will always give you a low battery message as soon as you sit down to pump… make sure you have an extra charger available!
  • Boppy, toys, books, and (if you use them) an extra pacifier – since you will likely have to entertain your baby during a pumping session, these are crucial to reducing your stress level. There is nothing worse than a screaming baby needing you while you are hooked to a pump and have 20 more minutes to go. Trust me, get a basket and fill it with things you can use to entertain your little one while you finish the job,
  • Water – remember hydration helps your supply. Drink up!
  • Extra pillows and a blanket – pumps require you to be seated upright as you pump or else your milk will spill. At 3 am, you will want to do anything but sit hunched in the correct position. So, make sure you have extra pillows that you can prop up behind you for some back relief. Cozy blankets always help too!
  • Podcasts – I listened to SO MANY podcasts when I was pumping. It gave me something to do other than endlessly scroll social media. Find a few good episodes and cue them up for when you have a long pumping session. It will make the minutes fly by.
  • Anything that you may want or need over the next 30 minutes (I.e. laptop, books, food, etc).
"I make milk. What's your superpower?" -Unknown 
Exclusive pumping while facing the challenges of being a new mom definitely makes you superwoman - never forget how awesome you are, Mama!
Exclusive pumping while facing the challenges of being a new mom definitely makes you superwoman – never forget how awesome you are, Mama!

And one last tip:

remember that breast milk doesn’t stay good in your freezer forever. I tried to use mine within 6 months or so (here is a handy guide for breast milk storage). When you freeze your milk, be sure to order it so that your oldest milk is most accessible. I did not do this and ended up having to empty my freezer and reorganize it when I realized I couldn’t access the milk I needed to use first. Rookie mistake that you hopefully won’t have to make!

Again, I hope that the tips above combined with those that I provided in Part 1 give you the tools you need to successfully pump for as long as you decide to! Let me know below if there is anything I left out or give me your thoughts on how these tips worked for you…

And as always, Stay Healthy as Heck, KH

Defining Success on Your Own Terms – Part 2

In last week’s post, (Defining Success on Your Own Terms – Part 1) I left you with a question – what is success? What does it look like?

And the answer is: whatever works for you.

No really, that really is my answer.

In years of doing psychotherapy and then listening to people as I worked with them in the dance/ fitness business I have learned many things, but one of the most consistent things I have seen is that everyone is truly unique. There is no one-size fits all version of successful living. That means, that whatever journey you’ve taken and wherever you happen to be heading is fantastic as long as that journey, generally speaking, brings contentment, joy, satisfaction, and peace.

I think it’s ignorant (yup, I said it) to assume that our journey is somehow better than anyone else’s – because what is better exactly?

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Defining Success on Your Own Terms – Part 1

Defining Success on Your Own Terms - Part 1

Going from a successful career-oriented woman, to a stay-at-home Mom, to now building a part-time career has been an enormously difficult transition for me. It has provided many lovely moments and is a time that I will cherish forever, but it has also required me to really shed a layer of my identify and deal with what I’ve found underneath it. This has prompted a mix of emotions and sometimes I find myself simultaneously feeling grateful, disappointed, and frustrated.

The interesting part is that I know I’m not alone in this, I’ve heard many Moms talking about it in one place or another. I’m going to put aside the topic of what it means to identify with the ‘Mom’ identify for a later post, but today I want to talk a little about defining success in our lives. This is a topic I’ve really had to think long and hard about recently and if you are struggling to feel like you measure up, I think this post will speak to you too.

Continue reading “Defining Success on Your Own Terms – Part 1”

Tips to Exclusive Pumping Success-Part 1

Mom Tip Monday: Tips for Exclusive Pumping Success - Part 1

If you are a Momma that decided to exclusively pump like I did, then you know all to well how challenging this decision can make your life. It’s made harder by the fact that it’s a relatively uncommon decision. Most Moms breastfeed or give formula, but it is rare (although getting more and more common) to find other Moms who have also braved the journey of exclusive pumping.

Finding people who can share tips and and understand your struggles is so important when you are a new Mom and/or new to this journey. Over the next two posts, I’m going to share some information that helped me get through this process with my sanity intact!

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Mom Tip Monday: C-Section Recovery

Mom Tip Monday: C-Section Recovery

(**Affiliate Post: We are a participant in the AmazonServices LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.– We also link to other websites we have affiliate relationships with. Some, but not all, of the links below may be affiliate links. We continue to pledge to only link to items and businesses that we truly love and genuinely want to share with our readers.)

This week’s Mom-Tip is a special one for me because it brings me back to the day my little sweetheart was brought into this world. And while my memories of that day are full of love because she arrived, the reality is that it was a long freakin’ day! I wanted to share a little about my experience with the C-section recovery process, as well as give you a few tips on the things I found helpful as I made my way into the 4th trimester.

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Tips for Adopting an Attitude of Gratitude

4 Ways to Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

I had a completely different post typed up and ready to go for today but then I had a moment that struck me yesterday so I decided I wanted to circle back to gratefulness this week (if you missed my first post, Everyday Gratitude, click over and read that now!) The moment that refocused me was a reminder that gratitude can be hard, fleeting, and difficult to maintain. When I hear people talk about gratefulness, I rarely hear them discuss this part of the equation. Unfortunately, I think these tough realities are why people often give up when trying to develop a grateful mindset. It’s not being grateful that’s challenging, it’s maintaining it.

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Mom Tip Mondays – Eat Your Veggies Edition

(**Affiliate Post: We are a participant in the AmazonServices LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.– We also link to other websites we have affiliate relationships with. Some, but not all, of the links below may be affiliate links. We continue to pledge to only link to items and businesses that we truly love and genuinely want to share with our readers.)

Mom Tip Monday: Eat Your Veggies

Today’s mom tips are all about helping your toddler to eat some vegetables… which has been an ongoing battle in my house.

My baby girl started out her solid food journey as a little rockstar. After an initial few hurdles, she would try and then eat most things. And then somewhere around the 12-15 month mark, that lovely eating came to a screeching halt. And I became the Mom I was trying so hard not be… I totally caved to her. Which meant a diet that consisted mostly of carbs, cheese, peanut butter, and fruit because that is the only thing I could get my little toddler to eat without a fight.

After a few weeks, we gradually went back to eating some eggs, a little bit of chicken, and every now and then she would tolerate turkey in her sandwich bread. But those veggies? No way, Jose!

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