Last week, I dropped my little lady off at toddler school for the first time…

Can we talk about all the feelings that come with dropping your child off at school for the very first time?!

I’m not generally an overly emotional person.  I haven’t cried for any of the major moments that you’d typically expect a woman to cry… graduations, my engagement, learning I was pregnant, learning I was having a girl… not a tear.  Well, except when they told me I needed surgery to get the baby out… I cried about that… but that doesn’t really count, does it?  Anyway, those big life moments just don’t seem to bring out the tears for me.  So, I was surprised at myself when I got teary-eyed driving to her first day of toddler class.

Some of that emotion was the normal stuff… “she’s growing up so fast,” “I wonder if she’ll cry all day,” “will the teachers know how to soothe her” etc, etc. But here was the piece that really tugged at my heart…

When we went to school to meet her teachers the first day, it was also an opportunity to meet the other little ones that were going to be in her class.  I was able to watch my little lady interact with other kids (who aren’t her brother) for the first time.

Before I go on, let me say this… my little lady is FEISTY.  When my husband, or I, or her brother are doing anything she doesn’t like, she is quick to smack, push, and fight her way to letting us know she isn’t happy.  We call her a Sour Patch Kid for a reason… she can change from sweet as pie to angry as a hornet in the blink of an eye.  So, at the end of the day, I know she can make her unhappiness known – quite loudly!

But sitting there and watching her on that first day made me realize that she had a new learning curve in front of her.  As she wobbled unsteadily over to a box of blocks another girl was playing with and reached for one, the little girl that was already there looked up at my daughter, pointed her finger, and yelled “NO!”  My daughter stopped cold and stared at the little girl for a second and then reached in again, only to be met with another yell.  Eventually, that little girl got distracted by something else and moved on, as did my daughter, but it dawned on me…

It wasn’t her going to school in general that had me emotional… it was the realization that my little girl was now going to have to learn that the world isn’t always nice.  That other people can be mean, selfish, and downright nasty at times.  And I, as her mother, can no longer protect her from those hurts.  I can’t always be there to hug her and make it better or dry her tears.   I can’t swoop her up when I see something bad coming her way.  She is going to have to take her lumps, pick herself up, and move on… without me there to help.

And that, y’all, has had me all sorts of emotional.

It also started me reflecting on my own life and my own mother.  All the times she had to sit by and watch me go through heart breaks and hurts, and all she could do was hug me and try to reassure me that everything would be ok.  I had more than my share of those moments growing up (and still do).  Gosh, I never realized how amazingly hard that had to be for her. How much it must have pained her to not be able to protect me from the hurt or make it go away.

So, for all the Momma’s out there, a couple things to remember on those first days of school (whether it’s your first time or 10th time):

First: We can’t control the people our children will have to interact with in this world.  It’s a hard reality to come to terms with. We can, however, raise them to be leaders who model behaviors that are driven by genuine love, honesty, and concern for others. If we get enough children raised in this way, maybe we can eventually crowd out the bullies.

Second: That desire to hold on to your baby and never let them go into this (sometimes) brutal world is completely normal.  It literally broke my heart to drop her off that first day and watch her walk into the unknown without me.  BUT letting our little ones fly out of the nest a little does give us the opportunity to teach them to be strong, stand up to bullies, walk away from negative people, and to always believe in who they are and what they’re capable of.

Third: Humans are adaptable, and our little ones are no different.  No matter how much they scream and cry when we drop them off, given enough time and the right kind of support (which is sometimes just our belief in their adaptability from afar), they will find a way to adjust.  Kids (and adults!) become better, wiser, and stronger when they face challenges and overcome them.  Leaving them to adapt to a new circumstance, without you, can certainly be scary but it’s so important for their growth.  They will learn, they will adapt, and not only will they be ok, they will be better for it.

Fourth: Not all of us are blessed to have amazing Moms or to still have our Moms in our life.  If your Mom was less than amazing, these moments may offer you the chance to give your little one a different experience.  Focus on creating a better and more positive moment instead of reflecting on all the ways this moment may have gone differently for you.  For those of us who were lucky to have great moms, find a moment to remember and be grateful for all the ways your Momma cared for you when times were hard.  Be thankful that someone was there to share that pain with you and try to make things better.  It is truly a blessing to have a Mom like that.  If you can, call your Mom and thank her for all she’s done.  She probably doesn’t hear that enough.

And Finally:  I’m writing this a few days after the fact and today, I walked her into school and when she saw her teacher, she reached for her and let me go without even a whimper.  The teacher looked at me and whispered, “I just love her.”  I was reminded that even though our kids may not always be surrounded by angels, there are also so many beautiful souls they’ll interact with in life.  Many wonderful people that will hold her hand when I can’t and help her when I’m not around.  And, as long she continues to look for the good people, there will be some good to be found.

And to my Mom, THANK YOU could never express my gratitude.  I love you.

Here is to an amazing school year for all the kiddos out there.  Hoping all my Healthy as Heck Mommas witness many more joys and successes this year than tears and hardships.  This world can be a dark and difficult place, but as Moms we can be the light and comfort that helps our little ones understand that, no matter what, someone loves them and will be there for them forever.

As always, stay Healthy as Heck! KH

P.S. I always like when my friends and readers give me useful feedback… This post is totally a post about an experience both Moms AND Dads experience.  For my Healthy as Heck Dads out there, I didn’t mean to leave you out!! Please also insert the word Dad or Papa anywhere you read Mom or Momma!!